Couples Counseling

(continued)

By Margaret Karmazin

"That Clegboparian was female!"

"Not entirely," said Alena tranquilly. "He/she was actually their third sex. Rather rare in number, but certainly good where it counts. Amazing what they can do with that fifth appendage."

Bern groaned.

"You've become too involved with your project specimens, Bern," she said. I believe that you're taking on their ridiculous social and religious rules; going native, so to speak."

"Those, as you say, 'ridiculous' social rules are put in place in order to keep societal control. In addition, they serve to educate the soul and raise it through various levels so that eventually the body is not needed. You know all this! Of course, you've apparently lost any vestige of spirituality you ever had. Don't think I didn't hear some vague talk about a Plagnonian drone and that little vacation in the Caribbean!"

Alena sighed. She studied her fingers, presently decorated with crystal tips. "Whatever," she said.

Bern appeared to be passing through various stages of emotion, from humiliation to submissive despair and on to blatant rage. He turned to her furiously. "First you don't respect my work, and now this. For three thousand Earth years, give or take, since we took over this ongoing project, I have lived under the delusion that you and I had something special. That not only were we the closest of friends, but amazingly satisfied physical partners — but was I ever wrong! You are apparently no different from every other mate sent out for the long haul. And to fall so low as to be tempted by a Clegboparian! I'm not even certain that they're classified as fully sentient. While you're at it, why not copulate with an elephant or whale? Why stop at a Clegboparian?" Bern almost fell off the sofa and had to catch himself.

The Counselor said, "I'm pleased to hear you express your true feelings, Bern. Now if Alena would do the same..." He looked at her expectantly.

She turned sideways to face Bern. "I point out that while you are so quick to accuse me of impropriety, that I am more aware than you know of your experimenting with the humans! Don't think it has escaped my notice; I do have workers all over who report right back to me. That little belly dancer in Tehran. For that matter, that belly dancer in the pre-Christian era in Greece! You seem to have a penchant for dark little beauties. Well, except for that auburn-haired Celtic female — when was that now? The Arthurian era? Then the Nubian queen, the Chinese fortune teller, the Australian Aborigine, the Portuguese wine merchant's daughter, the Sioux medicine woman, and... did I leave out any? Oh, the Mayan farmer's wife, how could I forget?"

Alena tossed her thick shag over her shoulder, while emitting a satisfied grunt, then perked up again. "Oh! I should also mention that boy you sampled in, let me think now, I believe it was in Crete? So, your censuring me for a little escapade with a Clegboparian and a well-deserved break with a Plagnonian really does not compare. Besides, having a brief encounter with a Clegboparian or Plagnonian, even if a drone, is on a rather higher level than consorting with one's pets!"

Bern shot up from the couch and glowered down at her. "Pets, you say? Pets? Humans are anything but my pets! I was merely trying to improve their genetics by giving the hands-on approach a shot! This has been a very serious project, this creating of soul containers in a dense, contained, recycling environment! How exactly do you imagine that our kind started out? I assure you that it was a similar situation, though not as contained nor as dense!

"You know all that perfectly well and are just choosing to pretend otherwise. You would not have been permitted into this program if you were ignorant of the goal. I really don't find this amusing. And to think that our superiors and I have trusted you all these centuries with such serious matters as terraforming and meteorological control, when that has been your attitude all along!"

Bern sat back down, apparently spent.

Alena also looked about to detonate. "I never wanted to come here!" she shouted. "It was you who wanted this wretched assignment, this silly little world in the middle of nowhere, these pathetic low-level beings to play with! Look at them, multiplying like insects without a thought to their environment! They evacuate where they eat like the lowest of animals! And war, look at the war! They continually engage in it, use it for all sorts of purposes, from revenge to resource-grabbing to international relations! They imagine it to be a form of diplomacy for Zorn's sake! This is what you want for soul containers? Why, instead of raising the vibration of the Universe, they're pulling it down! You worry about my having a bit of fun with an Clegboparian when you are polluting the Universe? Really, Bern, you need to get your priorities straight."