Claimants
By Alan M. Danzis

(continued)

His mother-in-law really put Rich in a bad mood when he headed back to work; even with all the money they were set to collect, Rich decided he wanted to continue to work. On his first day back, Lenny, an accountant from the third floor, cornered Rich between the coffee maker and Derek Hepperstein, the fat stock broker with a sweat glands problem that nabbed himself a $190,000 profit in the last quarter. He reminded Rich that he still hadn't paid his March Madness pool from last year. He hadn't wanted to pressure him because he knew money was tight, but what with his recent luck and such, he figured that if Rich wanted to play again, it really wouldn't be fair if he didn't…
Lenny, I could have sworn I already paid you that money.

A few hours later, as Rich tore into Anne's bologna and Swiss sandwich, while huddled in his cubicle desperately trying to avoid the covetous eyes and hungry wallets of everyone else in the office, Derek Hepperstein's stubby fingers appeared on top of one of his gray fabric walls. A tip had come across his desk, his said, and he figured Rich would be looking to invest some of his new, hard-earned money. It would take only a few weeks, and there was some risk, but if Rich trusted him, Derek promised him…

Derek, there is no way I'm trusting you with any of my money. And no, I wouldn't let my wife, either.

Later that night, Bob Evans, the Edwards' neighbor for the last twelve years, interrupted dinner to congratulate Rich with a celebratory six-pack. About midway through the third beer, Bob's memory was suddenly jogged and he recalled loaning Rich a hundred bucks six and a half years ago. With interest, it seemed as though Bob was owed…

Get the HELL outta my house, ya goddamn crook!

To calm down, Rich decided to go out for a beer at the local bar. While all eyes were on him, his cell phone began to ring. He picked it up and discovered an old friend from college, Todd, was calling to congratulate him. He also wanted to remind Rich of the time he promised to give him $1000 if he got him a date with Rachel Banks. Despite the fact she dumped Rich after four dates, Rich had promised to pay him, and sure enough, Todd was finally coming to collect. He said he'd be more than happy to take a check if…

I'm hanging up, Todd.

Rich didn't just hang up his phone; he tossed it in the garbage as he left the bar that not. Not surprisingly, Rich woke up to a nasty hangover the next morning. Even less surprisingly, he awoke to the house phone ringing. It was Fox High School Alumni Development Chair David R. Engle asking if Richard finally wanted to donate some money to his alma matter. Rich tried to remind Mr. Engle that they neglected to send him reunion notices for the past ten years, but that didn't stop Department Chair David R. Engle from extolling the virtues of giving back to a school that was desperately in need of some new lockers, a new music instructor, or perhaps even a multi-million dollar performing arts…

I'd rather lose my money at the track then waste it on you people.

In one quick motion, Rich threw the phone back in its cradle and then yanked the cord out from the wall with his free hand. To clear his mind, he decided to go for a walk. As he passed by various neighbors who congratulated him, patted him on the back, and wished him well, he ran into Sarah James, their neighbor from across the street, who was walking her sixteen-month old labradoodle. She and Rich quickly struck up small talk about the weather, local politics (it turned out the Mayor had raided the sanitation funds to support a second wife and a house in the northwest), and Bob Evans' only daughter, who was suspended from school for taking a hit of ecstasy before a math final. Sarah also casually reminded Rich that he owed her for twenty-two dog-walkings in the past eight years; the Edwards dog, which had died three months ago, was still a sore spot for Rich and he was not too…

Take your crappy, designer dog and go back to your moldy cheese store.