Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

By Mary Matus

In my home state of Pennsylvania, there's a certain four-letter word everybody dreads hearing. We start hearing it in November and we know there's no avoiding it.
The word I am referring to is "snow."

Pennsylvania is south enough so we're not snowed in the entire winter but north enough that we know what it looks like. We should know how to handle a little snow.

Apparently, the general public doesn't have memory that lasts from approximately March to November.

It would be sensible to plan ahead in, say, October. Make sure you have the necessary supplies: snow tires, antifreeze, snow blower. You wouldn't wait until the day of the first snow to buy a snow blower. Aside from poor planning, that's just not going to happen. That's like trying to buy an air conditioner on that first day it hits 90. (Probably the same people, too.)

People act like they've never seen snow before. It doesn't matter how much snow it is during that snowfall. It doesn't matter if it's just a dusting. People still act like a blizzard's coming. They plan for a foot of snow just in case the weatherman are way off and then it turns out to be less than an inch.

But they still panic. They make the standard run to the grocery store. And what do they always seem to buy? Bread and milk.

Bread and milk? Don't you get that in prison? Oh, sorry, it's bread and water. But it's still a little too close for my taste. (Actually, they probably get seven course meals in prison these days, but I digress…)

Now if I thought I'd be stranded for days (Though how you could be stranded with an inch of snow is beyond me), I would buy food I would enjoy.

Like chocolate. Or alcohol. Make those days you're stranded go by more quickly by taking a shot every time they add an inch to the forecast.

Though maybe I'm not the first person to think of that. Maybe that's why there seems to be at least a four-car pileup every time there's at least an inch of snow. Sometimes I wonder if anybody actually knows how to drive in snow.

People either think they can do 90 in a foot of snow or else they start to brake as soon as they see the snow. I don't understand what goes through people's minds. I'm just waiting for that interview in which someone says: "This white thing just flew on my windshield so I slammed on the brakes."

It's not driving in snow that worries me is the people like that that make me want to stay off the roads every time it snows.

As I write this, we haven't had much snow in Pennsylvania. (Call me superstitious but I'm always afraid if you comment on how little snow you've gotten, you'll get a blizzard within a week.) And if we get any more snow I'll guess I've to make sure I'm stocked up on chocolate.