Rubble

(continued)

By T. Richard Williams

5.

It was a whirlwind: It turned out that only the Yellow Fever vaccination was required, and they'd forego the ten-day-before-travel stipulation because it was a humanitarian emergency. Since I was going into the mountains, I didn't need to bring malaria meds, and my TB, typhoid, and diphtheria were all up to date, due to my overzealous doctor last spring when there was a TB scare on campus.

Then: the passport double-checked, tickets bought, racing to Manhattan to have travel waivers signed, a twenty-three hour flight endured (longer than expected because of weather — Rashid trying to sleep or just staring out the window), and Jinnah International Airport reached. Bustling, hot, exciting.

Working our way through the crowded baggage claim with its unfamiliar noisy conversations, pungent smells, and fiery colors, Rashid was greeted in a rapid fire exchange by his well-off Karachi cousins, two handsome men (one wearing a gray sherwani over Western slacks, the other in an embroidered brown prince suit) and a stunning woman in a bright yellow kameez. Clearly, looks ran in the family.

"Roy, these are my cousins — my aunt's three children. This is Noor."

I shook the hand she offered. "Like the beautiful queen." She nearly had Rashid's smile.

"And Qadir" — in gray — "and Shadaf" — in brown. Firm handshakes.

We all shared the taxi to the aunt's house. An overnight stay, with a real bed, after such a long flight.

Staring at the ceiling in my room in a house large enough to accommodate several guests, the only word coming to me was dislocation. Even after a few hours, nothing seemed quite familiar — the heat; the food — tandoor-fired meats, incendiary curries, syrup-soaked sweets; the strong tea; the often loud, in-your-face conversation. And now, late at night, the sounds of the street crept in through the lattice windows and the shadows of traffic swept across the walls abstractly. Dislocation.

And though we all spoke of the quake and its horrors over our dinner in a downtown restaurant, neither the cousins nor the aunt seemed ready to join us on our trek. Rashid didn't pursue the topic, either. Was there something I didn't know about? Perhaps a class distinction? A family squabble? Was there something political going on that I shouldn't know about? I kept quiet; perhaps I'd find out.

Someday.

Regardless of the cause, the family's friendly (but distant) attitude towards Rashid added to that sense of feeling unanchored, far from Long Island. After a few hours, I finally fell into a restless sleep, only to be awakened by a knock on the door.

It was May 10. We shared a breakfast — Naan and other kinds of breads with thick yogurt, and more of that dense tea. Before we left, I gave the aunt a little crystal bud vase I'd brought with me from New York as a token, which the aunt loved and which seemed to impress Rashid, or so his tiny nod of acknowledgement seemed to say.

Then we were off. Rashid and I traveled (each with a duffle bag) as far as we could by rail before we transferred over to four-wheel transport. That was late in the evening.

There were about a dozen of us heading to the high country — squeezed into four vehicles driven by beefy-looking men in United Nations uniforms. We had to explain several times at different checkpoints why we were going to Chital. At midnight we stopped. Too dangerous. Snipers. Thieves. We stayed in a hostel along the road — dirt floors, thin mattresses, a toothless proprietor who seemed friendly.

We did this for another day. Pakistan isn't a huge country, but it took forever to get near the northwestern frontier, and the further in we got, the worse the roads. The lush green of the south was replaced with the stark, gritty tones of a mountainous region. The earthquake had completely torn the highways apart in many places — asphalt, gravel and boulders scrabbled together, remnants of cars and trucks mangled beneath rock slides, streams now running where a Jeep might have just a couple of weeks ago.

The last night, before the U.N. helicopters came for us, we slept in a makeshift relief camp. Someone kept a fire going till dawn. The smell of burning wood somehow gave me comfort.

Stretched out, alone in the tent, the feelings flared up again: Here I was, thousands of miles from my apartment; thousands of miles from friends, students, classrooms; thousands of miles from anything familiar — food, clothes, a bed, a sink, a toilet. This wasn't just another camping jaunt in the Adirondacks. I was in the middle of a political hot zone.

The embassy papers described me as an American going to "provide aid to a close friend of the family." I smiled at that: From last October to now — from morning coffee to "close family friend" — from animal attraction to... What? Doing a good deed half a planet form home? Helping a fellow human being in need? What the fuck was this? I chuckled aloud: Hell of a time to be asking.

From somewhere in the mountains I swore I heard gunfire, but told myself it was kindling popping in the fire. It was the only way I could get myself to sleep.