Nate's Fish and Poultry Shop
(continued)
By G. David Schwartz
My grandfather was a practicing Orthodox Jew. He taught me more
than any teacher I can remember, more than any book I have studied since
what it means to live in this world. He did not teach me the
Wisdom of the Fathers, nor the Bible and, while some might find this
absence cause for blame or censure, he taught me the more important
lessons in life ones which cannot be obtained by any lesson or
any book. He witnessed the dishevelment of my mother's observance and
family with something less than a stoic attitude. He resolutely refused
to criticize my mother, at least while I was within hearing distance.
Yet his dignified demeanor assumed rather sad expressions when certain
topics were raised.
My grandfather kept kosher to the end of his life. When every bit of
his savings were depleted, he refused to abandon the "old ways."
Expense was never the issue. Although we lived in a city which was once
teeming with five or six dairy farmers, and a dozen kosher butchers,
it was a matter of dignity to maintain oneself, despite the fact that
there was only one butcher, and no dairy farmers. It was a matter of
dignity; not pride, not boastfulness, not arrogance. Dignity.
It would be very difficult to put into words all that my grandfather
taught me, for even though he has been dead these far too many years,
they are lessons I am still learning. Yet the word dignity seems to
encompass the virtues which best describe my grandfather.
He described to me once a teacher who, he said, "had it in for
me because I was a Jew." He described this teacher walking toward
him and leaning into his face to scold him. He described the crucifix
which hung from her neck. I don't recall how old I was when I heard
this story for the first time. In fact, among the repeated tales from
his life, this story seems only to have been told once, twice at most.
It was a terrifying story: being hated because of an "accident
of birth," for a particular approach to the divine. Yet at what
must have been the most terrifying part of the story, my grandfather
waved it away with the words that times have changed, are changing,
for the better.
Once, while my cousin Jerry and I were standing on a corner discussing
nothing in particular, a car of people seven or so years older than
our tender fourteen years asked us if we would like to have our "Jew
noses cut off." I don't remember responding. But I recall, in retrospect,
several times declining the offer. I do not want my nose cut off. I
do not want conditions which contribute to anyone even thinking I want
my nose cut off. And if I am committed to preserving my nose on my face,
then I am also committed to contributing to the change of circumstances
and change of environment which will preserve everyone's nose, everyone's
skin, everyone's life.
It is a matter of dignity; a matter of honoring the person who has taught
me most about prestige. The status which matters is not the reputation
we gain on our own. Human beings are convened in such a manner that
we really can do very little on our own. We are always standing on the
corner with cousins, or talking with beloved relatives, or working together,
or fighting together, or calling each other names together, or threatening
each other together.
Given the choice, I venture to guess that each of us would prefer to
engage in deep, genuine laughter rather than shared ridicule. It does
not take a whole lot of study or experiment to know that most people
would prefer sharing their time with beloved people rather than hateful
people. Nevertheless, we have a perceived social past which has been
bequeathed to us which we cannot simply put aside. It does seem to take
quite a bit of study, experimentation, and new experience to address
the litany of past wrongs the Jewish and Christian communities have
"shared" together. It would seem to require more and better
thought, developed toward more and better experience, to reconfigure
the now intimate, now horrendous relationship between the Jewish and
the African-American community.
We are always together. What we choose to do with our togetherness seems
largely to depend on the form we choose to arbitrate our relationships.
In some deep, abiding sense, the form which Jews and Christians choose
is the invisible form of the always impending relationships which occur
when people, two or more, ten or more, stand together. The form which
blacks and Jews have most readily available to choose from is the deep,
abiding pool of liberation which is redemption, salvation which is freedom.
We have not even reached the point where it makes sense to utter the
otherwise true, profound statement that freedom is freedom to pursue
rational, creative activity. We too often hold one another in bondsman
(and women) ship to our own prejudices; we are too often willing to
sacrifice the intelligence and skill of the other. Why would we want
to so mistreat ourselves? Why are we so little concerned to find our
dignity; the nobility which is to be had from working together once
we realize we are stuck together?
But in truth, even when I find someone who is a "polar opposite"
of me, a black person next to my white personage, a female next to my
maleness, a Christian next to my Jewishness, when we sunder the chains
which would bind us to the false idea that male and female, Jew and
non-Jew, white and black are opposites, we begin to sculpt a realm of
dignity and peace. We begin to see that we are not "stuck together"
but have an opportunity to make progress together and, indeed, are walking
together in one way or another, whether we care to affirm so or not.
When we begin to affirm one another, make one another visible first
to ourselves, and afterwards to our fellows, then we have the opportunity
to return not only to the genuine deep laughter of the love of life,
but of sincere joy.
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