So Near, So Far

By Alice Folkart

Honolulu has two newspapers, each with fiercely loyal readers. Honolulu Star Bulletin readers would never be seen reading a Honolulu Advertiser, and Advertiser readers wouldn't deign to pick up a copy of the Bulletin left on the bus, even if they had nothing else to read. The papers cover the same news with only minor variations. Both play up the annual Oahu Senior Citizen's Valentine Ball at the Convention Center, and both run special "Valentine's Personals" the week before Valentine's Day.

Honolulu Advertiser: Dear distinguished gentleman — our eyes have met (our lips not yet) at the Senior's Valentine's Ball last year. Remember? Me — sparkly red dress, petite, naturally-gray short hair, good dancer. But you couldn't tell — no one asked me to dance — I kept hoping you would. I left early, right after you did. Thought maybe we'd run into each other at the bus stop. But you must have a car. That's a plus — you still drive. You? I'd say handsome, white dinner jacket, silver hair, blue eyes, tall. Were you alone? You didn't dance. This ad is costing me a fortune, so I hope you see it. Come and find me. Reply to box HA279.

Honolulu Star Bulletin: Valentine? Cinderella in red, where are you? At last year's Senior's Valentine's Ball, still aching over the loss of my wife of 40 years, I saw you, a vision in shimmering red. We exchanged glances, but my heart was so numb that I didn't have the sense to walk across the room and introduce myself. You didn't dance. You stood there in the crowd; seemed to be waiting for someone. Were you? Was it me you were waiting for? I'm fairly tall, although two inches shorter than in my prime; my black hair is white, but all there; my blue eyes could see you clearly, and I still fit in that white dinner jacket. Have a car, but don't drive at night. Do you have a date for the Ball? Reply to box HSB426.