It's About Time
By Wayne Scheer
"Get off at the next exit, will you? I gotta pee."
Karl checked the dashboard clock and odometer. "Okay, but you'll
have to leave your cell phone and pocketbook in the car."
Linda looked at her husband like he was out of his mind. "What's
wrong with you?"
"Look, your folks live 387 miles from our house. We've been driving
for two hours and twelve minutes and we covered 136 miles, but eight
point six of that were surface roads getting onto the Interstate. I
want to make it in six hours or less. My record, so far, is five hours
and forty-one minutes."
Linda shook her head and rolled her eyes. "That's what I get for
marrying an engineer." She patted his leg. "Could you be a
little less spontaneous?"
Karl smiled. "It's a dull drive. I need to create these challenges.
I'll give you ten minutes for a pit stop."
"Mighty generous of you, Mr. Not-So-Civil-Engineer. But what do
you think I'll do with my purse and cell phone? Are you afraid of the
wind resistance from here to the bathroom slowing me down?"
"Don't be silly, although it might be worth calculating."
He pointed to a sign for the next exit, seven miles away.
"I still want to know why you want me to leave my cell and purse."
"Because as soon as you sit on the pot, you call your sister. And
if you have your credit cards, you'll buy a couple of lottery tickets.
There's no way you can do all that and pee in ten minutes."
"You think you know me, don't you?" Linda was laughing now.
"After twenty-six years of marriage, I at least know how you waste
time."
Karl slowed as he neared the exit. "Good. There's a Citgo station
seven-tenths of a mile to the right. Just sit and go. Be back in ten
minutes or less."
Linda opened the passenger door, purse in hand.
"Seriously. Leave it here."
"You sure? I told Cassie to call about this time. You'll have to
speak to her if she does."
Karl laughed. "Well played. Take it. I'll make up the time on
the road. And play 483 while you're at it."
"Why?"
"The last three numbers on the odometer."
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