Cold

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After the crash, I went to live with my aunt. She tried to be patient with my spells of depression. But something happened to me down there. Down in the dark, cold depths of Moses Lake. Those icy fingers from the freezing water clung to me. They were like long, twisting vines, encircling me. Becoming a part of me. Following me throughout the rest of my life.

Things were never the same after that. I was never able to go near a pool again. The cool green water reminded me of the lake and the horrible numbing cold. And I can never get warm now. I live with a coldness that torments me. It’s all I ever think of. The cold controls my life. My thoughts. It’s always there with every breath I take.

And I have the same dream every night. There’s a pack of dogs chasing me through the woods. There are too many of them to turn and fight, so I run. I run as hard and as fast as my legs will carry me. but they keep getting closer and closer. I turn and can see their sharp ivory teeth. There’s blood dripping from their mouths. And their amber eyes gleam like a fiery blaze in a furnace. I finally come to the edge of a cliff. The cliff leads only to Moses Lake. Moonlight is glistening on the surface, and I know the deep, icy waters are willing me, commanding me to jump in. Only I can’t. I know I’ll perish. And then the dogs reach me.

That’s when I wake-up screaming, pulling my blankets around me, desperately rolling into a tight ball seeking warmth.

After dropping out of high school when I was 16, I got caught up with the wrong crowd, and two years later I was doing five years at the Ellis unit for attempted robbery. When I got out of prison, Vinnie was the only one in town who would give me a job. Vinnie owns Vinnie’s Meat Market. Clever name huh? So now, I’ve been working for Vinnie cutting meat for two years. I’m not rich, but I make a living.

So, I’ve been locked in here for three hours now. At first, I thought it might be some kind of sick joke. Vinny has a dark sense of humor, you know. But I realized a few minutes ago, no one is coming for me.

It’s 8 at night, and the shop won’t open for another 11 hours. The new button they installed on the wall to open the freezer door from the inside ain’t working. Believe me, I’ve tried it again and again. I even tried unscrewing the metal plate covering the switch. Of course, I don’t have any tools, so I pushed and prodded with my fingernails. Didn’t take long for them to become a bloodied mess. 

I’ve been sitting in the corner of the walk-in freezer at Vinnie’s Meat market, leaning against a frozen side of pork, wondering how I managed to lock myself in here. I think they call that irony. Where you think things are going one way, but they surprise you and go the other. Almost leading to a comical ending. But trust me. I ain’t laughing.

And I can’t take my eyes off the thermometer hanging on the wall: 28 degrees. I’ve been watching it, hoping that somehow, some way it will change. Show me something, anything but 28 degrees. I can almost see the blood dripping from its teeth, like the dogs in my dreams seeking to devour me.

And it’s so cold. So bitterly cold. Some people might be able to survive the night locked in a meat locker, surrounded by porter house, rib eyes, and Chateaubriand. But I can feel the icy fingers of the lake calling me. Reaching for me. And I know I won’t be able to resist them much longer.

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