Maria

By Marilyn Whitehorse

"I quit Miss Gloria!" I shout at she. "You no more yell me. You no tell me what do no more. No more Maria clean toilet and vomito. No more Maria find whiskey bottle in bed. No mas! I not your Maria no more!" I slap Miss Gloria face. "You think you got problema? You problema you got too much money! You forget how be humana! You no more push Maria. You no more tell Maria what do. Maria her own boss now," I say. I throw key on table and walk out door.

Alarm clock wake me. I want to throw across room. But I rub eyes and get out the bed. It was all dream — otra vez every night. Ay Dios mio! I take shower, put on clothes. I no can wake daughter. Try hard. I pack lunches in paper bag. Wake! Wake! My daughter late to school because she like walk with me to bus stop. "Be good girl," I say and give big kiss. Then I push down the street. "Go school," I say. I watch go school. I call name. She no hear me. I wave. She no see me. Her happy. Her with amigas.. I get on bus. Go work.

"Good morning Miss Gloria," I shout when I open front door su ella casa grande. I put coat in closet. First, I make café. Then I upstairs Miss Gloria's bedroom. Miss Gloria in bed, colcha over face. Otra ves. I never know alive or dead. If she bed — I can find. If Miss Gloria not bed, I look in bathroom. Sometimes she sleep on floor by toilet. One time I find on floor in kitchen by refrigerator in no any clothes. I think maybe she dead so I make cruz and ask Jesuschristo protect me. I no know what do. Maybe I call policia but I no have paper, so no call. I look close Miss Gloria. I see eye move. I see Miss Gloria eyes move like perro de me abuelo, like dog dream chase rabbit, so I not afraid. Miss Gloria alive, but cold. I know I need wake so not die. "Miss Gloria," I say. I touch my finger on arm. She not move much. "Miss Gloria?" I say again and push hard. I kick her little bit and she no wake. Then I know Miss Gloria alcohol. I no want kick she hard, not really. Why she sleep no clothes? I run bathroom and get big towel. Cover towel her. Miss Gloria might be embarrass for Maria see her no clothes. But then I stop. I think she never embarrass before. I see her all ways. Miss Gloria not embarrass. Es mi embarrass. I cover and I touch again.

Her open eye and look Maria. "What the hell am I doing in front of refrigerator?"
Miss Gloria sit up, towel fall. "In a towel?" She ugly face close. "Why did you leave the refrigerator door open?" Miss Gloria yell me. "Don't just stand there, Maria. Don't you know anything? Do I have to tell you how to do everything? Help me get up!"

Ay! I help her up the floor.

"Where did this towel come from?" She throw towel floor. "Go get my robe upstairs. God, my head is killing me! Bring me some aspirin, Maria."

She mad. I remember el gallina enojada de mi abuelita. It fly across yard and picando, picando, picando in earth. Must hurt gallina head to picando so hard like must hurt Miss Gloria be so mad. Miss Gloria face red; eye jump out big; boca smell bad; need bano. Me no like.

Miss Gloria no care. She sit table no clothes. "Where's my coffee? Maria! Get me my coffee!"

Otra ves yesterday, but yesterday clothes; no need towel.

Miss Gloria thinks she know me, but she know nothing. I no tell nothing because
she no hear. Only want Maria to know she life. And I no want know so much. Miss Gloria no have verguenza. Me see her no clothes, sleeping the bed when she so alcohol, she make me see her caca after bathroom, she no have men leave in morning before I come work. How she do that, I think? How she let other person see — even I the maid? She no care. She no live good. She need live better I think. I no like work for Miss Gloria, but no I can do. I need dinero. I need job. I need take care daughter.

I light candle for Miss Gloria and pray Jesus Christo and Madre Maria. Not every time because sometimes I need care mi familia, but when they not enferma then I light candle for Miss Gloria. When she mean, I light candle. When she have bad alcohol, I light candle.

Padre he say me, "Maria you so good. Light candle for su familia enferma."

I not tell truth. Padre think Miss Gloria mi familia. I no want tell mi Padre, "I no have good patrona." I no want him worry me. Padre so nice to Maria. Why mi Padre no es mi patron?